I am calm.

Halloween and all is well. Work is good. House is good. Family, etc., good. Weather is nice. Baseball is finally over and basketball is back. Things are good.

Supposedly we find out our bar exam results tomorrow, which has many people freaking out and contemplating elaborate escape plans to Australia to avoid the potential disgrace that comes with failure. I feel an odd sense of calm, and this isn't because I am confident that I passed, or because I do not care if I passed - I definitely do - I am just at peace with whatever happens. It is what it is.

Oh, and the whiskey helps.

I forgot.

Past few weeks there just hasn't been much happening, which, when I consider what constitutes something "happening" (knot science) is very, very sad. Bar exam results will be posted in about 2 weeks, which will be horribly tense.

Basically, to find out if you pass the Bar exam, it is my understanding that you go online and search through a gigantic list of names. If your name is not on the list, well, it's sort of like getting a 2-month prison sentence because you get to do it all over again in February! Yay!

Finally, I can sleep at night.

During my daily foray onto the internets, I make frequent inquiries on the status of my fantasy football team. There are many aspects to a team that can be tweaked and adjusted, and in order to do this I have to start at the Yahoo! homepage, which features several headline news stories. I am frequently baffled by the "featured" headlines, but the one I saw today takes the cake: "The Science of Knots Unraveled."

Really? You mean, there are real scientists working on this? No shit? Apparently, two physicists from the research Mecca that is the University of California, San Diego, decided that this mystery needed to be solved. San Diego, huh?

The physicists used "string-tumbling experiments and mathematical models ... and determined which factors cause the knottiest knots." Fuckin' A, that's some radically useful science. Knots everywhere - be on notice. Your days are numbered.

I'll admit that knots can be irritating. I can admit to yelling at my fair share of knots, pumping my fists in a rage. However, I don't see how understanding the way a knot forms is going to stop them from forming. People who give a shit wrap their cords up, rubberband-style. That's how I roll. People who don't care are doomed to a meaningless existence full of heartbreak, despair, and countless hours spent unraveling extension cords.

We can only hope these scientific heroes go on to conquer the deeper, darker mysteries of science, such as why Arby's is so disgusting, or maybe why babies have such freakishly large heads.

october so soon?

And the pressure is on to think of a Halloween costume. The conversation usually starts back in September. The wife loves Halloween, it's always been her favorite holiday next to Christmas. There is a certain formula to picking a costume, especially if you want to be a real person as opposed to a monster or an inanimate object. It's hard to pull off the celebrity/movie character costume, because it can't be too obvious, but it can't be too obscure. The other year I was Pee Wee Herman, and that was just right. The wife did Uma Thurman from Pulp Fiction, and that also worked. For pop-culture references, a certain amount of time has to have passed, or it has to be just recent and weird enough (a la the Astronaut lady in diapers - but that might be too stale)...

We can't do the "couple's costume." We're not that kind of couple, though I don't mean any disrespect to couple's costume couples. It's just not our thing. We know we're together, our costumes don't need to match. Maybe if we could somehow construct a mobile airport restroom, I'd be willing to be Sen. Craig if she would be my foot-tapping neighbor next door. Probably not going to happen, though.

Not to sound callous, but suicidal celebrities have always had a place in my heart. Especially when they can't quite finish the job. Owen Wilson is ripe for the picking this year. I guess I just don't have any sympathy for those who have so much yet can't seem to appreciate things. I do have the nose for the role...

At this point, there aren't a lot of great options out there. I guess I could just "put my junk in that box" and be JT... God that song is amazing... Or, there's always my favorite wrestler.

I felt compelled to insert a random picture to spice things up. Multimedia here folks. Crazy... Oooh, gotta go watch Caveman before it gets cancelled.